Procrastination Fueled By Chocolate For Breakfast

At first it was simple. I just added a spoonful of cacao powder to my morning smoothie — because cacao is rich in flavonoids, which are supposed to be good for me. This went on for years. I couldn’t tell if the flavonoids were improving my health, but I enjoyed the taste of the chocolate.

And then last fall, I had brunch with a friend who casually dunked a piece of dark chocolate into her coffee while we chatted. My brain went wild.

Regrettably, I can’t drink coffee. But I can drink tea and I decided that Earl Gray would taste terrific with chocolate. The large squares of a Ghirardelli 72% cacao dark chocolate bar are exactly the right size for dunking. You can snap one in half and still have enough space to hang on to the top as you immerse the bottom into the hot tea until the chocolate begins to melt. So, I added chocolate bars and Earl Gray tea to my morning routine.

And then, as a post-smoothie-post-dunking snack, I began to eat a handful of chocolate-covered almonds. A large handful. I ate them slowly, sometimes drinking a third cup of tea, even though it had to be decaf. While I ate chocolate and drank tea, I thought about everything I wanted to do during the rest of my day.

And then, this morning I grabbed a second handful of chocolate-covered almonds. What am I doing? I thought. Where will this end? I popped a few more almonds into my mouth and allowed the chocolate coating melt onto my tongue before I chewed and swallowed them. How much dark chocolate is too much dark chocolate? I wondered. What’s the RDA?

Should I stop eating dark chocolate every morning? Do I want to stop? Can I stop? Am I addicted. Oh, no! I wonder if there’s a stop-eating-dark-chocolate support group I can join.

I dived for my computer and typed “chocolate addiction support groups” into Google. Millions of results appeared, most of them touting the benefits of eating dark chocolate. But as I scrolled, I spotted a link to a support group. I leaned forward to read: “RA’s Twelve Step Chocolate Addiction Recovery Program. We are here for those who want a full recovery from a chocolate ...”

Wait!

Stop!

This is crazy! I don’t need a support group. I don’t think this even has much to do with chocolate. I took a deep breath. My panic began to dissolve.

I think this is about avoiding what I should be doing right now. I think I’ve created a stack of chocolate and tea habits that are keeping me from doing the work I need to do. I think I am using chocolate to procrastinate.

Procrastination, my nemesis, is an insidious, clever, time-stealing beast that continues to find new ways to stalk me. Anything sneaky enough to attack me with chocolate, well... sheeesh.

But I’ve been through this before. I’ve procrastinated by watching videos, exercising, binge eating, reading, taking classes, and tumbling into Internet rabbit holes. I know the drill. I know that I can’t stop any procrastinating behavior until I’m aware of it. So, yay. I’m aware of my escalating chocolate habit.

Now, I must admit that I’m afraid: afraid of failure, afraid of success, afraid of criticism, afraid of vulnerability, afraid of not being perfect… Whatever my fear de jour is, I need to identify and name it.

Second, I must forgive myself for all the time I’ve wasted — So. Much. Time. —   using fear as an excuse for not accomplishing my creative goals. Despite the tragedy of lost time, my forgiveness process always includes laughing. Lots of laughing. Because sometimes I am a completely ridiculous person. For example, who the heck uses chocolate to annihilate more than an hour of freshly available time every morning for weeks? A scaredy-pants person, that’s who.

Third, (and the most difficult for me) is to actually do something, anything, to get started. In my case, I have to write a list of first steps, break each of those steps into teeny, tiny easily doable chunks, and then accomplish the first teeny, tiny chunk. That’s followed by a quick celebratory dance. And then on to the next chunk. Etc., etc., etc. For me, this is a logical, simple — but oddly challenging — process.

Okay, now you. What behaviors are you using to fuel procrastination? Stop doing that. What’s the first chunk on your must-do list? Do that. (Easy for me to say.)

We like to imagine that the thing we want to do is too complicated and difficult. We like to make excuses. We like to talk about all the barriers to our success: lack of money, lack of education or skills, lack of time... We want to want to do something grand, but it’s easier not to do it, so we don’t. We then like to hate ourselves for not doing what said we wanted to do.

But if a project is really important, I must push through procrastination and get ‘er done. Otherwise, I might keep inventing new ways to eat dark chocolate for breakfast until I founder and give up.

Wishing you happy chunking and much success during 2023. Please contact me if your project list includes audio recording or editing. The initial consultation is free! And I promise not to procrastinate on your project. (I only do that with my own stuff.)