How To Stop Hating The Sound Of Your Voice

Do you remember the first time you heard a recording of your voice? You hated it, right? I don’t sound like that! you probably declared. Maybe you vowed to never again speak into a microphone.

Voice hating is a real thing. In fact, it’s a scientific phenomenon. A 1966 study even coined a term for it: voice confrontation.

When you speak, you hear your voice both internally and externally. Your perception of your voice is filtered through a combination of your vocal cords, the bones in your head, the air, and your ears. But a recording only captures the external, and so it will never match what your internal/external version sounds like.

Another reason you cringe when you hear your voice is because you realize that other people can hear shades of emotion and vulnerability in it — personal traits you thought were hidden.

So how can you make friends with your voice, and get on with recording your podcast or oral history interviews?

Acceptance.

Sorry, but you’ll just have to get over the fact that you sound like you. Learn to love — okay, accept — your unique voice. Because, what happens if you don’t? Best case:  You’ll always feel self-conscious, which makes bad audio. Worst case:  You’ll be defeated before you begin, which means the world will never hear from you. And if you feel like you have something to say, that’s a loss — for you and for us.

Practice.

Even though it makes you wince, listen to yourself. Do you sound energetic or tired? Do you sound like you’re reading a script? Does your vocal fry or your tendency to end every sentence on a higher pitch distract from what you’re saying? Listen for ways you can improve. Search YouTube for vocal exercises. Find ways to strengthen and enhance your voice. If you want to be taken seriously by an audience (and feel proud of what you’re creating), take the sound of your voice seriously.

Feedback.

Enlist the help of a friend or family member (musicians are great listeners).  Find someone you respect. Someone who wants to help you succeed. Ask them to listen to a recording of you speaking. Ask them to identify any point when they get distracted by the mechanics of your voice, instead of becoming immersed in the meaning of what you’re saying. Ideally, your feedback listener will offer constructive criticism that supports your uniqueness.

When it comes to how you sound, Eric Nuzum, podcast guru and author of Make Noise, writes: “The pathway to success in such a crowded, fast-moving field lies in being uniquely different. Uniquely yourself. Uniquely precise, exact, and clear in your vision. Imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, but it is really boring to listen to.” Yes, it is!

In time, you’ll get used to the sound of your unique voice. Pretty much. But the most important goal is for you to stop the hating — that dream-killing emotion — and get on with it!